Watch out Serena, there's a new diva in town

Dear Roger Federer,

Congrats on your 14th grand slam title! You really are at the top of your game right now and are deserving of all the kudos you are receiving. You are truly a Renaissance man, with all of that skill on the court AND now budding fashionista! Who knew! You have propelled yourself into the highest ranks of dandy gentleman—James Brown, the Pope, and Sargent Pepper.

Such bold Fashion choices you have made...White and Gold lamé, headband, waistcoat, flowing comfy pants. It takes a man with certain type of confidence to pull that off. Also it's a wise move to have your logo all over every article of clothing as well, you travel a lot and things can get misplaced. It's just like writing your name in your underwear for summer camp, only in gold-lamé stitching.

But it's the bag I really need to talk to you about. That is one fancy accessory, it seems like you have a new one for every grand slam that you compete in...so send this one to me. Summer is finally here and I need a new pool bag. Imagine how jealous everyone would be if I had a white and gold Roger Federer original by my side, holding my fluffy Egyptian-cotton towels, SPF 45 and gossip rags. Fabulous.

As for phase 2 of your glamorous make-over, I'm thinking: Scantily clad servants fanning you, maybe a throne (definitely a throne, with your logo at the head), oooo—a cape (with your logo on it) and perhaps a fancy ring (also with your logo), so that when you vanquish your foes, they can kneel at your feet and kiss your fancy ring. Just throwing out a few ideas. Drop me a line I've got a million of them.