Johnny Weir: Glitter Medalist

Dearest Johnny,

I should have known. How could I have been so blind?

You bathe in glitter! It's all so obvious now.

I consider myself to a be well-read, accomplished glitterphile, but it never occurred to me that the simplest way to an all-over shine such as yours would be to douse myself in the tiny mirrored bits of heavenly perfection we call glitter. Thank you sir, for educating me.

Normally at this point in my letter, I would ask you to please forward to me a scintillating item of your own. But this is a special a case as I have never seen, and calls for the ultimate submission, if you will: Can I just have you?

We can hang out and talk sparkles all day and you can teach me how to achieve your Olympic competitor-level shimmer. I will carry you on piggy back all day. You will be my ultimate disco ball accessory/friend and everybody, even Lady Gaga will be jealous.

This is the best idea I have ever had!

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