Katy Perry: Shine on, Sister

Dear Katy,

Glitter is my favorite, but light-up clothing is new territory for me. Turns out...I saw a light-up dress, and I liked it!

I won't play games here, I want it. Please send me your light-up dress. Here's why this just makes sense: I am really scared of the dark. Each day as the sun sets, I struggle to affix flashlights and glow sticks to my clothing. Why would you let me work that hard when I could just, you know, have a dress?

Look, I promise I will keep it clean and fully charged. I won't play with it while I am driving and endanger others. I will keep it on low when I am near the elderly.

I am truly the perfect person to watch over that dress. Think about it Katy, and I know you'll do the right thing.

Johnny Weir: Glitter Medalist

Dearest Johnny,

I should have known. How could I have been so blind?

You bathe in glitter! It's all so obvious now.

I consider myself to a be well-read, accomplished glitterphile, but it never occurred to me that the simplest way to an all-over shine such as yours would be to douse myself in the tiny mirrored bits of heavenly perfection we call glitter. Thank you sir, for educating me.

Normally at this point in my letter, I would ask you to please forward to me a scintillating item of your own. But this is a special a case as I have never seen, and calls for the ultimate submission, if you will: Can I just have you?

We can hang out and talk sparkles all day and you can teach me how to achieve your Olympic competitor-level shimmer. I will carry you on piggy back all day. You will be my ultimate disco ball accessory/friend and everybody, even Lady Gaga will be jealous.

This is the best idea I have ever had!