I can see myself in your...

Dear Britney,

Indeed, you are "back."

Only someone who is a "back" as you are could wear a shiny metal bodice to such stunning effect.

But now that you've had a turn at being "back," I want to be "back" too, cuz I gotta have that bodice.

I picture myself moving metallically through life, feeding the dogs, making pancakes, pumping gas, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, my liquid metal torso deflecting everything from mosquitos, ketchup and lint to...bullets! Divine! I'd be able to put in my contacts simply by looking down! Pretty and handy! You could run on the carpet and then touch me and, ZAP! Electrical shock! Such fun at parties!

Please, Brit, right after you get home from the tour, you bubblewrap that thing within an inch of madness and send it my way. Oh, get your dad's permission first.

I'm back, too, bitches! Zap!

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