Posh Blot


Dear Posh,

Let's compare lives:

I eat pizza.
You saw pizza in a movie once. (Vulgar.)

You have a record number of Hermes Birkin bags.
I saw a Birkin bag in a movie once.

You have a lovely, drapey, ink blot of a dress with a flowy, oozey train that makes you look like a stylish Rorschach test.

I sometimes forget to cap my pen and get flowy ink blots on my clothes that make me look like a nerd after an SAT test.

See? We have ever so much to talk about.

Why don't you come over for lunch (don't worry, we'll just stare at some salads) and bring that dress? Pop it into one of those Birkins...I just want the dress, I promise I won't try to steal the bag. (Psych! I totally will try to steal the bag. I'm going to say, "Did you hear Prada is doing a line for Target?" and while you swoon I'm going to kick the bag under a table!)

And yes I know the dress isn't my size but I can stop eating anytime I want, don't be a bitch.

Air kiss!

2 comments:

  1. Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

    I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

    I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna have a dress like that.

    Nice lyrics. Only thing lamer is that Posh sings about one line in that song.

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